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Love Stories



Maria Shriver wasn't supposed to marry Arnold Schwarzenegger, says Marie Brenner in Vanity Fair. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver (from www.governor.ca.gov) As a member of the Kennedy clan, she was expected to marry someone like John Kerry - "some preppy who had gone to Harvard or Yale". But Shriver didn't like those boys. "I had been round them my whole life. I wanted out of that suffocation. I wanted someone different." She met her future husband when she was 21, and he was different all right. "Arnold wanted to be a star. He wanted to be famous. I thought that was great." The marriage hasn't always been easy, but Shriver maintains they are happy. "This is what she fell in love with - me," says her husband. "This is the way I am - outrageous, out there. And it comes with things that are not all rosy."    (The Week, December 2004)
Romance bloomed for two New Yorkers who were bereaved on September 11. Terry Fiorelli’s husband, a Port Authority engineer, was crushed after helping to evacuate the second tower. Kevin Casey’s wife worked on the 104th floor of the same building. He was so distraught he haunted Ground Zero for weeks, until he met Fiorelli at a counselling session. "It’s a blessing to find the love of your life just once", she said. "I’ve been twice blessed."    (The Week, September 2003)
Russell Crowe isn't all bad. The belligerent Aussie actor comes over positively sweet on Russell Crowe and his wife, Danielle at the Oscars 2003 the subject of his wife, Danielle. They first went out in 1991-2, until he left Australia to pursue his Hollywood career. But even at the opposite ends of the earth, they couldn't stop thinking about each other. "There's a certain magical thing about her and me together," he says. "The very first time I went to an awards ceremony, she was my date. It was the Australian Film Awards in 1991, and I won best supporting actor for Proof. Ten years later, I invited her to be my date for the Oscars. When they announced that I had won - for Gladiator - I turned to her and said: "This is because you're here." And I gave her a kiss. It was just after that that we started seeing each other again."    (The Week, November 2003)
A widowed grandmother married her wartime sweetheart 60 years after they parted. At the age of 17, Pam Smith - now 77 - had a whirlwind romance with US soldier Charles Ketchum, who was stationed in her hometown of Torquay, southern England. After Ketchum was called away to prepare for the D-Day landings, the couple lost contact. But Ketchum, now 80 and living in the States, recently managed to track down his lost love. After a tearful reunion, the couple are now engaged. "I'd almost given up hope of finding her," said Ketchum.    (The Week, May 2003)
Jane Birkin has had more lovers than she cares to disclose ("Why should numbers matter?") but it seems that one will always stand out. "Serge Gainsbourg," sighs the 56-year-old actress. "He was frightened of bosoms: he had a bosom phobia. Jane Birkin With him, I had at last met a man who liked girls to look like boys. I thought, 'What good fortune,' and of course did lots of nude photographs. It was such a delight to have someone who thought you were beautiful." Birkin was only 21 when she fell in love with the French singer, who became her second husband. They recorded the sexiest song ever, Je t'aime, and became the toast of the Left Bank. "Serge was an institution," she says. "He used to say to me when we were followed by photographers: 'We are mythology.'" Their life was fabulously decadent. "Parties. Long lunches. Sifting on gilt chairs at couture houses so Serge could buy me clothes. Yves St Laurent used to put on entire shows for me, privately." But the most important thing, she says, was that "Serge loved and forgave me blindly". Even when she left him for the film director Jacques Doillon in 1980, they remained the best of friends. "Of course. He had a room in our house and I had one in his. Our partners did not think it was strange. It was just the way it was."   (The Week, January 2003)
Connie Reeves, who died in August 2003, aged 101, was probably the oldest, and most famous, cowgirl in the USA.
Born in Eagle Pass, Texas, in 1901, Connie was put on a horse for the first time as a baby. In 1922, she became one of the first women to study law at the Connie Reeves - click here to take a look at the Camp Waldemar for Girls website University of Texas. But her dreams of following her father's law career were thwarted by the Depression.
She took a job as a riding instructor at Camp Waldemar for Girls Ranch in Texas in 1936, and stayed for the rest of her life. In 1942, she married the camp’s head wrangler, a former rodeo rider named Jack Reeves. The couple spent their lives on the camp’s 10,000-acre ranch: "Let the East have their computer wizards, their skyscrapers, their stockmarket, their pollution", Connie once said. "But leave the wide open spaces and the fresh air to the West."
Jack died in 1985, but Connie refused to retire, even after suffering a series of riding injuries: in 1986, she broke her leg, and in 1994, she broke her wrist, fractured five ribs, and punctured a lung. She was a tough, independent character and had spent 67 years teaching more than 30,000 girls to ride. She was due to teach a class two days after the accident that killed her. "I’m nearly blind and hard of hearing", she said in 1998, when she was still teaching six hours a day, six days a week. "I just can’t give it up. It’s in my blood."    (The Week, September 2003)
Helena Bonham Carter's life took a sudden turn for the better in 2003. After she split up with Kenneth Branagh in 1999, the British actress endured a long spell of singledom. Helena Bonham Carter "I went through my 35th birthday in total despair," she says. "The terrible thing was, I couldn't picture the person I would end up with. I just couldn't see who it was going to be." In fact, she knew him already. She had just finished making Planet of the Apes with the eccentric gothic director Tim Burton. There had been no spark of romance on set, she says. "You know when you feel, that's a really nice person, I wish we'd properly connected or had a proper conversation. I remember leaving the film thinking, 'Oh well, never mind ... That's that,'" But a year later, during a publicity tour for the film, they went out for supper together. "And suddenly something happened: it was like a great big fist turning the world 45 degrees. I remember going to the toilet and feeling quite disoriented. He felt that happen too. It was quite an amazing, magical moment." The pair are now expecting a baby together. Looking back, she says, it seems so obvious that they were perfect for each other. "Since then, people who'd known us both have said, 'Duh..,'; they'd all thought, if only those two realised ... I just love him, it's as simple as that."    (The Week, May 2003)
An 84-year old woman was reunited with the letters she wrote to her first love, nearly 60 years after his death. Mary Crampton Mary Crampton's fiancé, Albie Thompson, was captured in WW2, survived 5 years as a POW, but was tragically killed in a plane crash on his way home. Mary knew little about Albie's last years, but a former medic in the US Army, who had found the letters and diaries in the wreckage of the plane, tracked her down on the net. "We always took it for granted we'd get married", Mary said, "but it never happened."    (The Week, August 2003)

What's love got to do with it?



Annie Proulx is not really a people person, says Marianne Macdonald in The Sunday Telegraph. Annie Proulx - photograph © Karen Cipolla The Pulitzer-prize winning novelist, author of The Shipping News lives alone in the wilds of Wyoming. Her house is so high up in the plains visitors get altitude sickness, and so remote that she has to drive 100 miles to buy groceries. Divorced three times, Proulx is currently single, which is probably just as well. “I’m not wife material at all,” she explains. “I’m too selfish, too single-minded. I can’t do all the wifely things. I get hassled and angry and distracted. Some people are better off alone, and I’m one of them.” The silence in her log cabin is deafening - and that’s the way she likes it. “I can’t bear a lot of noise,” she says. “It sends me freaking! When I was a kid, to me the most dreadful sound in the world was my mom running the vacuum cleaner. Hate that noise! The whine of the senseless machine.”    (The Week, December 2004)
Lemmy is a true wild man of rock, said David Jenkins in The Sunday Telegraph. For the past 30 years, the lead singer of Motorhead has indulged a seemingly insatiable appetite for drink, drugs and sex. Lemmy He claims to have bedded 2,000 women, usually has four girlfriends on the go at once, and is rarely seen without a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Some kid once asked me if I got bad hangovers. I said, `Man, to get hangovers, you have to stop drinking.’” Yet Lemmy, who grew up in Stoke on Trent, harbours some pretty old-fashioned values. For example, he disapproves of rudeness ("good manners are free; everybody should have them"), he loves reading, especially P G Wodehouse, and can be quite gallant, after his own fashion. Once, in LA, he saw a thug trying to drag a woman into a van. "And he had a f****** great sawn-off. But I couldn't see that happen, could I? Couldn't see her disappear and then the next day read about a body found in a skip, you know? And what I did was pull the gun away and say, `Leave her alone!' And all the time I'm thinking, `I don't even fancy this chick, and he's going to blow my f****** head off.’”    (The Week, November 2004)
Angelina Jolie It seems that Angelina Jolie never had much confidence in her ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton. When the couple married, she famously had his name tattooed on her arm. But now it seems her pledge of undying love was a bit half-hearted. "Something inside me knew the marriage wouldn’t be permanent," she said. "So I had his name tattooed in a light colored ink which I knew would disappear. I'm having it lasered off to speed up the process."    (The Week, August 2003)
Jack Nicholson Jack Nicholson's womanising wild life made him the envy of Hollywood. But now, at 66, he's ready to admit that "there has been a downside. Have I found true love - whatever that is? Can I honestly say that I have found true happiness? I honestly envy those who have." Jack may still be a bachelor, but he has lost his old appetite for sex. "I'm a quieter man than I was 20 years ago. The girl might be young - but, hell, I've got older. The truth is. whatever you may read, I mostly sleep alone these days." (The Week, May 2003)
... but 5 months later ...
Diane Keaton Jack Nicholson has finally fallen for someone of his own generation, said the Daily Express. The 66-year-old playboy - whose last girlfriend, Lara Flynn Boyle, was just 33 - is stepping out with Diane Keaton, 57. The pair got together while working on their new film, Something's Gotta Give. "The movie finished filming in late summer but Jack and Diane continued to see each other," said a Nicholson source. "They are dating up a storm. Jack told me even he is surprised by their chemistry."   (The Week, November 2003)
Candace Bushnell is single again. The writer who created Sex and the City has just split up with her boyfriend of two years, British businessman Stephen Morris. At 43, she's reluctant Candace Bushnell to put herself back on the market. "There comes a time when dating is a little bit unseemly," she says. For one thing, the competition from younger women is too stiff. "Do guys who are 44 and attractive want to be with somebody who's 43, a year younger? The reality is, maybe they don't. If I were a guy, would I think that way? Yeah, maybe I would!" She could always get a toy boy, of course. "But it's boring. It's like, 'I already was 25. I understand your angst, but I don't think I could go through it again, you know!" It's not as if she's on a last-minute dash to have children. "I'm just one of those women who are not very child-oriented. I mean, I like my nephew and I think he's cute, but every time I pick him up he jumps on my legs, pulls my hair and wants to go back to his mother!'    (The Week, February 2002)

the sweet



"She walks in beauty like the night ..."
   Lord Byron, from 'She Walks in Beauty'
"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out candles and fans fires"
   La Rochefoucald
"Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished"
   John Gray (author: 'Men are from Mars Women are from Venus')
"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit"
   Peter Ustinov
"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it"
   Swedish proverb
"It's your unlimited power to care and to love that can make the biggest difference in the quality of your life"
   Anthony Robbins
"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving"
   Amy Carmichael
"Live simply, laugh often, love deeply"
   anon

Love Poetry



Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever fixèd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
   Shakespeare, from Sonnet 116
I wish I could remember the first day,
First hour, first moment of your meeting me,
If bright or dim the season, it might be
Summer or Winter for aught I can say.
So unrecorded did it slip away,
So blind was I to see and foresee,
So dull to mark the budding of my tree
That would not blossom yet for many a May.
If only I could recollect it, such
A day of days! I let it come and go
As traceless as a thaw of bygone snow;
It seemed to mean so little, meant so much;
If only now I could recall that touch,
First touch of hand in hand - Did one but know!
   Christina Rossetti, 'The First Day' more>>

Love Prose



Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw in Love Story When our two souls stand up: erect and strong, face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher. Until the lengthening wings break into fire at either curvèd point. What bitter wrong can the earth do to us that we should not long be here contented?

Think, in mounting higher the angels would press on us to aspire to drop some golden orb of perfect song into our deep, dear silence.

Let us stay rather on earth, belovèd, where the unfit contrarious moods of men will recoil away and isolate pure spirits - and permit a place to stand and love in for a day, with darkness and the death hour surrounding it.

I give you my hand.
I give you my love - more precious than money.
I give you my self, before preaching or law.

Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

   (from the wedding ceremony in the film Love Story)

Love Miscellany



75% of 16-year-olds say they believe in marriage; 33% have not had sex. 43% think love is a prerequisite for sex.
(ICM/The Guardian, December 2004)
An English farmer may have answered the prayers of Charles Hudson's delphiniums - click here to take a look at The Real Flower Petal Confetti Company website priests, by planting the first crops of natural confetti. Charles Hudson has devoted 16 acres of farmland to delphiniums which, when harvested and dried, will provide pink, purple, lavender and ivory petals to be scattered as a biodegradable alternative to paper confetti.   (The Week, July 2003)
If they were to be reincarnated, 60% of men would like to come back as a woman, but only 19% of women would come back as a man    (Tesco Finance/The Times, September 2003)
Women don't just want men who are in touch with their feminine side, said The Sunday Times: they want their partners to look like women, too. Psychologists at St Andrews University, in Scotland, produced a computer-generated photograph of what women consider to be the perfect male face. The composite, created from images Jude Law of 12 real men, has smooth skin, symmetrical features, and a rounded hairline and jaw - all traditionally feminine traits. The "perfect" male was based on the tastes of 34 women, who assessed the faces of a dozen men and gave them marks for masculinity and attractiveness. Researchers said that all of the women preferred feminine features, while rugged masculine markings - prominent jaws, beards - were shunned. "Modern women find femininity appealing in a male face because they associate it with co-operation, honesty and parental ability," said Dr Tony Little, who led the research. Little cites Jude Law and Brad Pitt as the quintessential handsome men of our times, while masculine types such as Arnold Schwarzenegger look too aggressive and sexually voracious to make reliable partners. "Strongly masculine features are now considered threatening."    (The Week, December 2002)
"Relationships become rocky when men and women fail to acknowledge they are biologically different and when each expects the other to live up to their expectations. Much of the stress we experience in relationships comes from the false belief that men and women are now the same and have the same priorities, drives and desires"
   Allan and Barbara Pease (authors: 'Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps')
Richard Curtis has a formula, and he's not afraid to use it, said Jeff Dawson in The Sunday Times. His directorial debut, Love Actually, contains the same winning elements as his screenplays for Notting Hill and Four Weddings and a Funeral: middle-class romance, evocative London locations, Hugh Grant in the lead role - and lashings of sentiment. This, he insists, is nothing to be ashamed of. Hugh Grant as the Prime Minister in Love Actually (photo by Peter Mountain) "For years, I've been puzzled by why people think the saddest things are the most real. 'Searingly realistic' always means someone is going to be brutally murdered ... Yet in real life, to a lot of people, what is searingly realistic is a mum getting up early, loving her kids, being nice; a husband loving his wife. These things happen all the time." Since September 11, he says, everyone has been preoccupied with "the harsh things in life, the chaos and the hatred. More than ever, I think you have to say that isn't entirely what the world is like. The other side of it is the love stuff."   (The Week, September 2003)
Love really does hurt: scientists at the University of California have shown that emotional rejection and social exclusion produce the same responses in the brain as physical pain. The findings may help explain why some people end up feeling physically shaken by emotional distress. We have found out "why it 'hurts' to lose someone we love", said Naomi Eisenberger, who led the research. For the study, volunteers were fooled into thinking that they had been excluded from a computer game by other players. Meanwhile, their neural reactions were monitored, using MRI scans. The results showed that being left out of the game triggered activity in the anterior cingulate cortex, the area that becomes active when the body experiences physical pain.    (The Week, October 2003)
Bruce Willis Bruce Willis certainly knows how to impress the ladies. He was dining at an LA restaurant, when a waiter spilled a bottle of champagne over a fellow diner, Sex and the City star Kim Cattrall. Bruce immediately handed the waiter $1000 in cash, and told him to "go out and buy the lady a new frock". Kim was so charmed by the gesture that she gave him her phone number.    (The Week, May 2003)
For a happy marriage, marry fast. A study in 2003 found that couples who have a lengthy courtship (three years or more) are more likely to split up than those who marry after 18 months. A team of psychologists at the University of Texas charted the relationships of 168 couples who got together in the Eighties. About 43% have since divorced, slightly below the US average. The researchers found that 'early exiters' tended to have had a courtship of around 3 years; after marriage, they rarely went out together, and "did not tend to work on the relationship, so they failed", said Professor Ted Huston, who led the study. Happily married couples tended to have courted for 18 months, half of which time they spent engaged. Many of those who described their early days together as "highly romantic" were still in love seven or more years on. "A good start helps people through rocky patches which may sink other relationships", Huston added.    (The Week, June 2003)
A study has proved that men really do want to marry their mothers - or at least women who look like them. Psychologists from St Andrews University, in Scotland, interviewed 700 volunteers, aged 18 to 67. Each was asked about the eye and hair color of their partners, as well as their parents. The findings showed that men were attracted to women with the same coloring as their mothers, while women were significantly more likely to have partners with similar eyes and hair to their fathers. "It's quite well known in psychology that, if you are constantly exposed to an image, it becomes attractive," said Dr Anthony Little, who led the research. "It is quite a subtle effect, but it's definitely there."    (The Week, January 2003)

Love ain't easy ...



Vanessa Feltz has spent a bit of time at the school of hard knocks, says Rebecca Hardy in the Daily Mail. A bright, hard-working Cambridge graduate, she began her career on radio, and assumed the transition to TV would be easy. Vanessa Feltz Instead, she found herself the victim of a tabloid hate-campaign about her weight. "I thought people would think, `What a nice girl'. I was married to a doctor, faithful, had two lovely daughters. When people started saying, `She ate Stamford Hill', I was amazed and hurt." As if that wasn't bad enough, her husband suddenly left her, saying she was "repulsive". The shock knocked her for six. "Everything I had believed in, everything I had treasured, thought was solid, wasn't," she explains. "Suddenly, you're thinking, `I'm on my own. Nobody knows what I am doing. Nobody cares.' That was shattering." Five years on, Feltz is happily ensconced with a new lover. But she's still angry. "There are some marriages that are impossible. But, if it's merely that you think, `Is that all?'; if it's just about changing the old cow for a new cow; if it's a feeling of entitlement to something more, something different, something other; then I think that's desperately shallow. And if there are children who are sacrificed in all of that, then I think it's desperately selfish."    (The Week, November 2004)
It seems that the macho novelist Ernest Hemingway was actually a henpecked husband. Ernest and Mary Hemingway Private letters discovered in Cuba revealed a man tormented by his nagging wife, Mary. "Yesterday at lunch was shouted at and tongue-lashed about clothes," he writes sadly. "I have tried to be as good as I know how, to give no cause for jealousy with other women, and to get to the house at the exact hour I say I will be back for lunch... The only thing that I have learnt is that it is better not to answer back."    (The Week, December 2002)
Laurence Olivier had trouble keeping track of his love life. When the legendary actor made the movie Wuthering Heights, his co-stars Merle Oberon and David NIven were rumoured to be having an affair. Years later, he told the theatre critic Sheridan Morley the rumours were true, adding, "But I was the one who married her in the end." "Er, no, sir," replied the puzzled Morley. "It wasn't Merle Oberon you married. That was Vivien Leigh." "My dearest boy!" exclaimed Olivier. "You are so right!"    (The Week, November 2002)

.. and the sour



"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions"
   Woody Allen
"A temporary insanity curable by marriage"
   Ambrose Bierce, on love

By the time you swear you're his. shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this: one of you is lying.
   Dorothy Parker, 'Unfortunate Coincidence'
" ... what bliss it would be to be James Bond: you could kill the girl you slept with and thus avoid having to talk to her the next morning."
   Nicholas Soames (English politician)
I'm not going to bother getting married again. No, to save time, I'm just going to find someone who hates me, and buy them a house.
   divorce joke
"It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another, and so make only two people miserable instead of four"
   Samuel Butler, on Thomas Carlyle (Scottish social historian)
   & his wife, Jane
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best"
   Woody Allen
"Women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage"
   Gloria Steinem

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